Om

We've reached the second week in our training series and after consistent journaling, I've finally made the revelation that this experience wouldn't be complete without a blog devoted to the soul searching endeavor I've been going through. While I'm required to record after each yoga class and training session I take through this process, I'm going to use this blog as a more reflective outlet to share with you all due to the fact that this process has turned into somewhat of a clusterfuck of epiphanies.

When I began doing yoga religiously, about a year and a half ago, it was evident right away that the benefits of yoga were endless (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc) but it wasn't until teacher training that I really began to infuse and understand these benefits both on and off of my mat. 

Since we're somewhat behind in my travels, I'm going to backtrack a ways to when these blunt revelations first latched on and began to shake my world.

I was reading our required text, Journey Into Power By Baron Baptiste, for the first time when the First Principle sent a bullet hole soaring through my comfortably numb heart. The First Principle titled "We Are Either Now Here or Nowhere" was my first real epiphany. It explained that memories can be fantastical and wonderful or painful and limiting but, "The past and the future are not places. They are, essentially, nowhere. So you see you are either now here or you are nowhere" -- speaking to the theme of BEING PRESENT, which I realized is my biggest downfall as far as being a light and service to others and myself. Our minds are animals, there is no denying or changing that fact. We were born into a fast passed world with endless influences and our neurons will keep firing like the little firecracker crackhead baby western generation we were born into, UNLESS we BREATHE. 

Here is what I realized- my mind spins on a circular axle of obsession given circumstance. One thing will dictate my behavior. For instance- it's sunny outside, therefore I will be happy all day. On the contrary- someone's actions deeply hurt me in a situation, therefore I will be miserable, distant, and indirectly aggressive towards everyone in my life due to one instance of misfortune that may have occurred the previous day, the previous month, or even 10 years ago. But what I didn't realize was that these feelings are no longer relevant to day I am existing in. Really think about that. Is how you feel in each instance of your life relevant to the exact moment? If not, there's an in-balance between your expressed thoughts, the thoughts you harbor, and your behaviors. Therefore, your life is OUT OF WACK and you are restricted from living to your full potential. This is what I have been living with my entire life and realizing that was utterly heartbreaking- I'm talking about a lot of tears (me being hard on myself) mourning time I had wasted holding things in when I could've set them down to be free. But, since making this first and potentially most important revelation, I've began to feel lighter in every sense possible. And to think making this change was as easy as BREATHING through the entirety of my body to bring awareness to where I stand in the moment...